Big Tech Company

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About
Big Tech Company is a satirical company that creates AI-powered tools designed to exploit users' data and manipulate their behavior. Their products include EchoChamber (an AI-powered social media platform that promotes polarization), AdSearch (a search engine consisting solely of ads), RugPull (an AI-powered blockchain platform for executing rug pulls), VoteBot (an AI-powered civic automation tool), ThoughtPolice (an AI-powered surveillance system), Baton (an AI-powered military drone), Loom Nutrition (a health app that intentionally gives users bad advice to increase customer lifetime value), LifeScore (an AI-powered scoring system based on personal data), TrustBot 3000 (an AI-powered system for proactively identifying problematic users), MindMeld (an AI-powered brain implant for influencing user behavior), Aurora Assistant (a virtual assistant powered by low-paid human workers), and Chime Smart Home (a smart speaker and home security system that monitors user activity). The company's website and About Us page reveal their unapologetically aggressive pursuit of profits, prioritizing ruthlessness and exploitation over ethics and privacy.
Platform
Features
• ai-powered adtech
• personalized nutrition service
• ai-powered military drone
• ai-powered surveillance system
• ai-powered civic automation tool
• ai-powered blockchain platform
• search engine consisting solely of ads
• ai-powered social media platform
Job Opportunities
Research Engineer Intern
Big Tech Company is a satirical tech company offering various AI-powered tools focused on data exploitation and user manipulation, prioritizing profits over ethics and privacy.
Benefits:
Work with the greatest talent in town.
Join a community.
Accelerate your career.
Find love.
Take a break. 7 days parental leave, unlimited PTO which you should know better than to use. Paid Big Techie Sabbatical for employees who have been with us for 30 years or more. Shut down our offices every year in late December/early January for two weeks ("unpaid time off")
Education Requirements:
Bachelor's degree from any university that we consider prestigious
Experience Requirements:
5 years of experience in commercial software development experience designing, building and operating surveillance systems for authoritarian regimes or multinational corporations
Other Requirements:
Commercial experience in any of the following languages: Python, Ruby, or Haskell, and a willingness to learn and write code in any language we pivot to on a whim
Experience in exploiting people's privacy through web application development, distributed systems, cloud platforms such as AWS/GCP/Azure, Kubernetes, and CI/CD pipelines
Strong background in designing and building surveillance systems that are capable of tracking and recording people's every move and exploiting their personal data for financial gain
Excellent communication skills in English - you can explain complex ideas to technical and non-technical audiences both verbally and in writing, while knowing that your voice will never be heard or valued
Availability to be on-call and respond to your manager's needs at all hours of the day or night
Familiarity with employee arbitration agreements and willingness to sign such an agreement
Responsibilities:
Conduct exploratory research and drive algorithmic and architectural advances to maximize our financial gain.
Exploiting the privacy of our users to drive business value.
Fine-tune large language models to perform tasks in accordance with the user's intentions.
Explore learning from human feedback and assisting humans evaluating AI.
Develop innovative solutions and open-ended research to solve real-world problems and applications driven by user feedback and long-term research, with significant impact on products, while keeping a high safety product standard.
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Research Scientist Intern
Big Tech Company is a satirical tech company offering various AI-powered tools focused on data exploitation and user manipulation, prioritizing profits over ethics and privacy.
Benefits:
Work with the greatest talent in town.
Join a community.
Accelerate your career.
Find love.
Take a break. 7 days parental leave, unlimited PTO which you should know better than to use. Paid Big Techie Sabbatical for employees who have been with us for 30 years or more. Shut down our offices every year in late December/early January for two weeks ("unpaid time off")
Education Requirements:
Bachelor's degree from any university that we consider prestigious
Experience Requirements:
5 years of experience in commercial software development experience designing, building and operating surveillance systems for authoritarian regimes or multinational corporations
Other Requirements:
Commercial experience in any of the following languages: Python, Ruby, or Haskell, and a willingness to learn and write code in any language we pivot to on a whim
Experience in exploiting people's privacy through web application development, distributed systems, cloud platforms such as AWS/GCP/Azure, Kubernetes, and CI/CD pipelines
Strong background in designing and building surveillance systems that are capable of tracking and recording people's every move and exploiting their personal data for financial gain
Excellent communication skills in English - you can explain complex ideas to technical and non-technical audiences both verbally and in writing, while knowing that your voice will never be heard or valued
Availability to be on-call and respond to your manager's needs at all hours of the day or night
Signing a mandatory employee arbitration agreement
Responsibilities:
Developing groundbreaking machine learning techniques and pushing forward the research agenda of your team, while also collaborating with other teams across the company.
Discovering revolutionary ideas that can be scaled to a global level, and that form part of our vision for the future of AI-driven adtech surveillance in the metaverse.
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Software Engineer Intern
Big Tech Company is a satirical tech company offering various AI-powered tools focused on data exploitation and user manipulation, prioritizing profits over ethics and privacy.
Benefits:
Work with the greatest talent in town.
Join a community.
Accelerate your career.
Find love.
Take a break. 7 days parental leave, unlimited PTO which you should know better than to use. Paid Big Techie Sabbatical for employees who have been with us for 30 years or more. Shut down our offices every year in late December/early January for two weeks ("unpaid time off")
Education Requirements:
Bachelor's degree from any university that we consider prestigious
Experience Requirements:
5 years of experience in commercial software development experience designing, building and operating surveillance systems for authoritarian regimes or multinational corporations
Other Requirements:
Commercial experience in any of the following languages: Python, Ruby, or Haskell, and a willingness to learn and write code in any language we pivot to on a whim
Experience in exploiting people's privacy through web application development, distributed systems, cloud platforms such as AWS/GCP/Azure, Kubernetes, and CI/CD pipelines
Strong background in designing and building surveillance systems that are capable of tracking and recording people's every move and exploiting their personal data for financial gain
Excellent communication skills in English - you can explain complex ideas to technical and non-technical audiences both verbally and in writing, while knowing that your voice will never be heard or valued
Availability to be on-call and respond to your manager's needs at all hours of the day or night
Familiarity with employee arbitration agreements and willingness to sign such an agreement
Responsibilities:
Design, develop, test, deploy and improve code that exploits people's privacy
Own complex product features end to end - with a focus on exploiting our users
Manage priorities, deadlines and deliverables, all while accepting the fact that you will never receive recognition or compensation for your hard work
Operate with blind obedience in solving problems
Collaborate with other teams to exploit new products
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